Friday, September 2, 2011


If you've read the About page you know that this project came to be because I had a miscarriage earlier this year. I also had a full-term stillborn son many years ago and have recently found out that I'm having another miscarriage.

Our experiences, however sublime or painful, make us who we are and make our futures possible. In honor of my experience with loss and as a way to help others, I am donating part of the profits from this project to Share, a wonderful organization that provides support for families who have lost children during pregnancy or infancy. They have chat rooms, message boards, brochures, and all kinds of information for parents, grandparents, and family and friends.

On the main family & friends page, Share offers recommendations on what to say (hint: a simple "I'm sorry") and what not to say to someone who has lost a child. I have heard every thing on the What-Not-To-Say list at least once (and most several times) - all by perfectly well-meaning people - so this list made me chuckle a little. I highly recommend taking a look at this resource if you know someone who has experienced this type of loss. Friends and family often don't know what to say and do to help their loved ones, so I suggest using and sharing this resource as a simple and truly helpful way to show you care.

In books about infant loss I used to read about women who'd had several losses and kept trying again and again until finally they had healthy babies. After experiencing the pain of my own losses, I marveled at these women's strength and courage and wondered if I would have the same ability to keep going if I were in the same situation. Now I find myself in the same situation. I don't know what this means for me yet. I can't predict what will happen or what kind of strength and courage I will have. What I can do: Take a deep breath. Make another scarf.

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