Saturday, December 31, 2011

New Year's Wishes

I've been taking a break from weaving and scarf dreaming to spend time with family, catch a few movies, eat a few too many tortilla chips, and dread the passage of time.

Yes, I admit it - I've been dreading the obligatory looking back/looking forward of New Year's like a trip to the dentist. Sixty scarves aside, this has been a year of loss, and looking forward I have to accept that 2012 comes with no guarantees. You just can't put "become a mom" on your New Year's Resolutions list. Hence, the dread. I usually relish list making and planning and dreaming, but who wants to think about resolutions when there's nothing you can do to get what you really want?

Or so I thought. I was in full-on avoid-all-New-Year's-worksheets mode until Sara at Feeding the Soil posted this one, from Superhero Journal. Just the first few questions made me want to weep and run to get a pencil to fill it out. Behold:

What do you want to acknowledge yourself for in regard to 2011?
What challenges did you face with courage and strength?
What are you proud of?

Yes, yes, yes! These are my kind of questions! Life is messy, so why should a reflection worksheet or a resolutions list be neat and tidy and tear-free? And even though this worksheet had me at hello, it sealed the deal with Question 2:

What is there to grieve about 2011?

Just seeing those words, being given permission not to celebrate, is so powerful. But the most important part of all is about moving forward:

The final step is to consider your primary focus for the year to
come. What is your primary intention or theme for 2012?
Is it the year of joy?
The year of self-care? The year of kicking ass?
The year of ease?
Stand up and say it proud, “2012 is my year of ________”

So, here it is. I am saying it to you.

2012 is my year of being happy with what I have.

Isn't that better than resolving to eat better or walk more or make time for yoga? Of course I'm putting those on my list too, but whether I stick to them or not I'll be happy because 2012 is my year of being happy with what I have. Yes.

I'm wishing all of you more happiness in 2012. Whatever year it is for you, may it be a great one.

"Healing may not be so much about getting better, as about letting go of everything that isn't you - all of the expectations, all of the beliefs - and becoming who you are." Rachel Naomi Remen, MD

"Finally I am coming to the conclusion that my highest ambition is to be what I already am." Thomas Merton

(This project - this audacious determination to make 100 scarves - is a big dream, so I was pleased to see that the authors of my new favorite reflection worksheet are offering an online course in dreaming big. )


Sara E. Cotner said...

Oh, what an inspiring post, Kelly!

Thank you for being a lovely ball of honesty, courage, articulateness, and hope.

Here's to hoping everything goes through with the contract on our house and you and I can be fast friends in Austin by February!

Laura Eliza said...

This is a great post... and so true for me too. I want 2012 to be the year I am happy with what I have and who I am... no doubts and no reservations. 2011 is when I accomplished things, 2012 needs to be about being happy with that.

I hope that 2012 is much better for you than 2011, and whether everything you dream comes to be or not, I hope that it is a year of joy for you!

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